I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I could fuck to npr.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
