My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
