im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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