I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
