Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
This is not my ceiling
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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