not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
there is another microwave in the elevator.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
