dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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