I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
