I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
