we made out on top of his cat.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
