He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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