You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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