Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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