dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
the raccoons are back...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
