I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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