the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
