More tranny stories later!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
