She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
