my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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