Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
