you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
