i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
