Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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