if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
