Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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