I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Everclear isn't food dammit
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
