THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
