its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
