There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
