did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
