what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
