You're so nebulous sometimes
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
