Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
