She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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