He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just gargled with NyQuil
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
