belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
