im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
