You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
