when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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