No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
