your room smells of hookers.
And success
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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