So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
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