Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
