Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Of course I have a pirate flag
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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