Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
