Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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