Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
