Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
