Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
