My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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