I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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