HIV tests are more positive than that guy
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
